Short Jokes | One Liners

Here is a collection of my favourite short jokes and one liners. These portray my simple style and type of humour. Corny and clean.


Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they're shellfish.

Thieves have broken into our local butchers and stolen half a cow.
The police think it was a beef burglar.

I was told that losing a husband can be hard.
I keep trying to loose mine but he won't go !!

I was always told that hard work never killed anyone,
but why take the risk !!

Marty Pello has teamed up with some German animal doctors. They have formed a new band called "Vet Vet Vet"

When I met my husband I didn't have a penny to my name. Now I've got another name.

What's worse than raining buckets? - Hailing taxis! (ouch)

My friend in Oz asked if we had a nice summer last year. "yes" I replied, "we had a nice picnic that afternoon"

Eat prunes, they certainly give you a good run for your money.

2 ducks on a pond, 1 duck says "quack", the other duck says "Ohhh.. I was going to say that"

Where do you find a one legged dog? - Where you left it.

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