Life With Woodpecker: A British Garden | Butterflies

Life With Woodpecker: A British Garden | Butterflies

Take a look at these beautiful Butterfly pictures, so colourful and so lovely in their natural surroundings, including one that can read.

The Village Hardware shop

Tony was re-hanging a door after decorating when he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Alice to get one from the local village hardware shop.

While waiting for Roy the manager of the shop to finish serving a customer, Alice saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf.

"How much for the teapot?" she asked Roy when he had finished serving,

"That's a very rare, old Doulton Teapot, and it is priced at £250"

"Oh dear. that is a lot of money!" Mary exclaimed, then proceeded to describe the hinge that Tony had sent her to buy. Roy went into the back to find a hinge that would be suitable.

From the back room Roy shouted, "Alice, do you wanna screw for that hinge?"

Alice replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."
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Blonde Jokes | Blond Joke

Here is another joke emailed to me recently with the title Maybe the Best Blond Joke Ever! From the title it can be concluded I think that this joke originated in the US because our spelling of the hair colour has an "e" on the end - blonde - if I am correct.

I will apologise in advance to any blond or blonde ladies out there who are sick and tired of these dumb blonde jokes. I guess some section of society has to bear the brunt, seeing as most minority groups are off limits in the interests of political correctness.

Two blond girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in.. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.

More soon
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Lovers Lane

Thanks to Bill in OZ for sending me this one.

A policeman was patrolling late at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. He sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine and a young woman in the rear seat, knitting.

Puzzled by this surprising situation, he walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window. The young man lowers his window ."Uh, yes, officer?"
The policeman says: "What are you doing? "
The young man says,: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the policeman says:,
"And what is she doing?"

"The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a jumper."

Now, the policeman is totally confused. A young couple, in a car, at night in a Lover's lane.....and nothing obscene is happening!

The officer asks:, "How old are you, young man?"
The young man says, "I'm 22, sir."

"And her .... what's her age?"

The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 16 in 11 minutes."
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Biddulph Grange Garden | National Trust

A delightful Victorian garden surviving from the 19th century is Biddulph Grange Garden. Here amidst this National Trust property you will find tunnels and pathways leading the visitor on a minature tour of the world.

We did find that there are an enormous amount of steps to be negotiated and is not suitable for people in wheel chairs. It can also prove difficult for anyone who finds the need to go up and down numerous steps a challenge or causes them discomfort.

Planting of rare and exotic species of plants collected from around the world lead you into areas of the garden planted to simulate an Egyptian court and an elegant Italian Terrace.

Enclosed within it's own Great Wall of China is a unique Chinese garden complete with temple. Chinese style buildings of wood surround a small lake containing colourful fish, you can walk the perimeter by stepping over wooden bridges and decked pathways. The path also leads you through the wooden temple.

The gradens were originally designed in the mid 19th century by James Bateman to display specimens from his extensive and wide-ranging plant collection, obtained by his botanists from around the world. The garden is set out in a series of connected 'compartments' where visitors are taken on a sensory journey of discovery through tunnels and pathways to individual gardens inspired by countries around the world.

Contact Details for the National Trust Biddulph Grange Garden

Biddulph Grange Garden

Grange Road, Biddulph, Staffordshire ST8 7SD
Telephone: 01782 517999

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Mime Artist

I saw a mime artist being arrested in the centre of town yesterday. The policeman began by saying,

"You have the right to remain silent."

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Jokes latest

The man who ran over my cat said he'd like to replace it. "I hope you're good at catching mice" I replied.

I visited a lighthouse the other day and was told to sit in the corner.

I went to the doctors because I had insomnia. He told me to lie on the edge of the bed then I'd soon drop off.

Are baked be-ings a Lions favourite food?

The Daddy Lion told his cubs to wait until they saw the Zebra crossing.

What's striped, dangerous and lives in the jungle? A tiger on a pogo stick.

My cat ate a ball of wool. Soon after she had mittens.

I think my cat's been eating ducklings again. She's got that down in the mouth look.
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Short jokes | One Liners

Here are a few of my favourite Short jokes and One Liners. A selection demonstrating my simple inoffensive sense of humour. Hope you enjoy.

You can find them here >> Short jokes and One Liners
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