When I met my husband I didn't have a penny to my name. Now I've got another name.
What's worse than raining buckets? - Hailing taxis! (ouch)
My friend in Oz asked if we had a nice summer last year. "yes" I replied, "we had a nice picnic that afternoon"
Eat prunes, they certainly give you a good run for your money.
2 ducks on a pond, 1 duck says "quack", the other duck says "Ohhh.. I was going to say that"
Where do you find a one legged dog? - Where you left it.
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You forgot this one: "When I started I had nothing, and I still have most of it left"
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